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  • Gay Cadet Concerns

    Hello

    Great site here, its really useful!

    I've got an offer from a decent company for September but I'm a bit worried. The reason being obvious from the title I hope.

    I'm really happy about the offer and this is the career I want, but I'm worried I might be in an even smaller minority than usual. Don't get me wrong, I'm a completely normal person, but if I'm sharing a room with a teenager then you all know what teenagers can be like.

    It's a bit of a dilema because I'm an open and confident person, and I don't particularly want to hide who I am. But I do wonder if it would be advisable to put on the "straight act" while at college. Then I wonder how long I'd be able to keep that facade up and whether I'd really want to or not!

    Any words of wisdom anyone?

  • #2
    Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

    Well you do get the choice between single/shared accommodation in at least one of the colleges.

    Also, Im sure you'd find that everyone would be very accepting, and realistically you shouldnt put on a fa?ade or act, as this would then have to be carried forward onto the ship.
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    • #3
      Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

      i supposed british and european's would be fine with who you are. It depends on the other people on the ship were they are from the cultures religion and beliefs. is it cruise or commercial ? i personally think cruise would be easier as there are more people on the ship including women and as there are more people a greater chance of another person with the same sexual orientation, to chat to discuss issues etc. .i guess it up to you how quite or loud you are at college. judge the people and weigh up what type of person they are maybe and if there normal and not a group of homophobes then i can see no problem . good luck
      Maybe I will never be
      All the things that I want to be
      But now is not the time to cry
      Now's the time to find out why

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      • #4
        Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

        It's a cruise company so I know what you mean.

        As for me, I'm a normal guy. I'm generally quite quiet and academically minded, I'm not the sort that frequents the less salubrious gay establishments nor am I camp or in any way "different" in my behaviour.

        I don't know why I worry in this day and age but it's just the niggling thought of living in close quarters with other guys, and as I said expecially teenagers, who still believe in cooties and crap like that.

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        • #5
          Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

          what college are you looking at ? i think warsash may be more tolerant. coming from the north theres still a heck of alot of predjudice in lancashire. southners seem to be more acceptant. i may be wrong as i am not gay so have not experienced any of your worries
          Maybe I will never be
          All the things that I want to be
          But now is not the time to cry
          Now's the time to find out why

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          • #6
            Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

            Most likely going to Warsash

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            • #7
              Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

              Well there we are there are loads of us going there!! Me and CD for a start!
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              • #8
                Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

                There are more female cadets these days and they tend to be more accepting of gay men. I am not suggesting you should share or anything! They just might be more understanding. I don't think that generally people are too bothered these days and also not that interested in other people's sexuality, I know that I'm not. Older men from an earlier generation might find it a bit daunting but provided that you are very professional and do a good job, I don't think that it would be a problem for you.

                If you are really worried then I wonder if it might be worth having a private and informal word with the accomodation people beforehand and explaining your concerns. Perhaps saying that you wouldn't want to put another cadet in a potentially embarassing position. I am sure that they will have heard anything that you have to say before and that they will appreciate your frankness.The may allocate you single accomodation or perhaps with another person who was openly gay that you would feel comfortable with.

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                • #9
                  Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

                  Not being gay myself, I've not got any first hand experience in the matter. There was a man with such an orientation on my course and he never had any real problems. Not for that reason anyway.

                  TBH no-one will care, if you're a good guy it doesn't matter

                  To boldly go.....
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                  • #10
                    Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

                    Originally posted by Anon
                    But I do wonder if it would be advisable to put on the "straight act" while at college. Then I wonder how long I'd be able to keep that facade up and whether I'd really want to or not! Any words of wisdom anyone?
                    Nahh don't do that just be yourself mate!!! if you where at my college a wouldn't care less if you where gay and if I was sharing a room with u then a wouldn't care either its the 21st century mate!!! if people can't accept you for who you are then screw them they aint worth your concern, just wish people where more accepting of ginger haired people lol honestly I can't go anywhere without some **** shouting "AWRIGTH CHESNEY!!!" least Bradley in eastenders is dead lol which sounds terrible but i know longer get called that haha!!!

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                    • #11
                      Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

                      gotta be better than being called Amy Pond

                      To boldly go.....
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                      • #12
                        Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

                        Well a would be pretty pissed of if people called me Amy Pond considering I am a guy lol, u better no have started something here haha If I was a girl I don't think I would mind she's pretty hot. Ron Weasley is the worst name though all the kids in the primary school which I used to have to walk past EVERY MORNING! on the way to school call me that or else they just sign the Iron Brue song 'its fizzy its ginger its phenomenon' I HATE KIDS!!! lol

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                        • #13
                          Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

                          I didn't think being ginger would be too much of a problem these days? lol
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                          • #14
                            Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

                            Originally posted by CharlieDelta
                            I didn't think being ginger would be too much of a problem these days? lol
                            Haha it bloody well is almost as bad as racism people have been stabbed on the street just because they where ginger!!!

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                            • #15
                              Re: Gay Cadet Concerns

                              We've got at least two openly gay guys at college and no-one bats an eyelid, As Ryan says, it's the 21st century! I also sailed with an openly gay 2nd officer on my first ship and all the lads got on with him fine, there was a bit of gentle ribbing occasionally but it wasn't malicious in any way, and these were some pretty salty old sea dogs!!

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