Doubts

[Unregistered]

Hi,
I've been looking at a career in the merchant navy since around november last year I guess. I've been totally fine with the concept of being away for long stints, I was kinda resigned to the fact that I'm not big into relationships - it wouldn't really fuss me, and there's always time for one later!

This last week has changed it for me though. I've found the person for me, in a place and at an age I never really thought I would. Typical how life tries to screw you over! I know the standard advice is "trust each other, and communicate and it should be alright. Either way, good luck." but they are special to me and I don't want to lose them before it ever really began.

I'm having doubts over whether this is really the right thing to be doing, it's not the most family friendly career! Problem is, I have no idea what I would do instead! I've taken the completely wrong subjects for what I would do otherwise, I got forced into it by parents wanting to live their ideal life through me and I thoroughly regret it.

Now I feel jammed between a rock and a hard place and struggling to justify to myself why I want to do this. I know I wanted to, there was no doubt in my mind that this was going to be my life this time last week! If anyone has got any experiences or advice or good stories to get me excited about it again it would be super helpful!

Thanks guys!

[Hatchorder]

Nobody is going to advise you what to do on here - none of them know you.

However, there have been some threads on here before - so go and have a look at:

http://www.officercadet.com/showthre...-going-to-sea? My post is too long to type out again - so go read it.

And for those worried about cheating....

http://www.officercadet.com/showthre...eating-at-sea?

Hope this helps.

Ian

[Unregistered]

Thanks Ian, your reply in the first thread was spot on!

[Clanky]

There simly is no right answer to this, talk your feelings through with your partner and see how they feel.

If you have taken GCSE / A level options for a cadetship then these should open up plenty of other opportunities if you decide that it's not for you.

Relationships can and do work, but both people in the relationship need to be comfortable with you being away for extended periods of time. the flip side is that when you are home you get to spend a lot of quality time with your partner (so long as his / her) work schedule allows you to.

It's not going to be an easy decision, but talk it over with your partner and see where it leads. I hope, whatever decision you make, it works out for you.

[CallumA]

Personally what I would do, when I get to that time, is talk to her about it. Since you're just starting your cadetship I would tell her that you will do it. Then after the cadetship you'll strive to get on a ship with shorter voyage lengths, such as ferries or AHTS. That way your cadetship will be worth the effort as you'll be in a well paid job and you'll get to see her more often.

Hope this helps man, but as I'm only 16 I may not be the best person to take advice from in this department. Good luck.

[thebrookster]

You don't say what side you were aiming for, deck or engine?

Either way, I certainly say get the cadetship finished first, and get all the qualis and orals out of the way, then re-evaluate.

It is kinda easy to get trapped into thinking taking a cadetship means a life at sea, when in fact it opens a whole wealth of doors to you!! I did engineering, and in my class there is one trainee Superintendent, one lad is a trainee mechanic for Stena Drilling, another is a trainee technician with petrofac. I also know of guys with Enermech (they and Petrofac aggressively recruit recent graduates of the Engine Cadet Scheme!!)

So don't think going to sea is the only option!!

[CallumA]

You don't say what side you were aiming for, deck or engine?

Just so you know, it says under people's names! I'm going to be on the Deck side of things - the civilised area!

[size4riggerboots]

Just so you know, it says under people's names! I'm going to be on the Deck side of things - the civilised area!

The OP however posted this anonymously, so there's no info

[CallumA]

Yeah but I thought it still showed under our names, i.e mine says Deck Cadet, yours says Deck Officer (Coc:OOW). I get this when i'm logged out so surely he gets it even as an anon?

[bobofinga]

S4 means the original post is made by Anon so no rank or department is shown ...

[Unregistered]

Thanks guys, great advice! I'm well known by my teachers for staring out of the window all day, so I think the deck department is more suited to me than stuck in the bowels!

[laura]

Very sensible decision Good luck!