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  • Having a Bad Time...

    I have been on board for a few days and feeling awful, it's getting to the point where I cannot be bothered to get my uniform on to have meals so I skip them. Feeling really isolated and I don't know what to do.

  • #2
    PM me will be around for a bit this evening
    Trust me I'm a Chief.

    Views expressed by me are mine and mine alone.
    Yes I work for the big blue canoe company.
    No I do not report things from here to them as they are quite able to come and read this stuff for themselves.


    Twitter:- @DeeChief

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      I have been on board for a few days and feeling awful, it's getting to the point where I cannot be bothered to get my uniform on to have meals so I skip them. Feeling really isolated and I don't know what to do.
      Is there anyone on the ship that you can talk to?

      Failing that, do you want to speak to one of us? If you're able to call from the vessel, then I'm willing to sit and chat to you if you need it....
      I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.....

      All posts here represent my own opinion and not that of my employer.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        I have been on board for a few days and feeling awful, it's getting to the point where I cannot be bothered to get my uniform on to have meals so I skip them. Feeling really isolated and I don't know what to do.
        Why do you have to wear uniform to meals? Are you on a cruise ship and have to wear it when interacting with passengers?

        There are plenty people on cruise ships to talk to, get out and about and make some friends.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by internationalapple View Post
          Why do you have to wear uniform to meals? Are you on a cruise ship and have to wear it when interacting with passengers?

          There are plenty people on cruise ships to talk to, get out and about and make some friends.
          Had to wear uniform for meals on cargo ships. Was told it depended on the old man.

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          • #6
            A lot of people feel this way. Don't skip meal put your uniform on and go for that's when you'll meet people. They might even become friends.

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            • #7
              To the OP, I think you will have to do more to explain to us why you are feeling isolated. Is this your first trip? Are you the only cadet on board? The only Brit? The only native English speaker? Are the officers taking any interest in you? Who are you working with?

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              • #8
                I just wanna say, this forum is really good. I'm hoping to begin training this year hopefully, but knowing how willing to help out you guys are is very reassuring! To the OP, I hope things are working out and that you're finding the ship better now!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by SBunting View Post
                  I just wanna say, this forum is really good. I'm hoping to begin training this year hopefully, but knowing how willing to help out you guys are is very reassuring! To the OP, I hope things are working out and that you're finding the ship better now!
                  Aye, we offer our help freely and we will do what we can to help you along, but remember that we're not paid to do this, we do this voluntarily.....
                  I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.....

                  All posts here represent my own opinion and not that of my employer.

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                  • #10
                    sorry I had to get off the internet, it is quite slow on here as everyone tries to sign in at the same time! I think I will give it a week or two, I could just be homesick.

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                    • #11
                      That's cool! So I take it many of you are in the Merchant Navy or have been in order to be so knowledgable?

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by mak View Post
                        Had to wear uniform for meals on cargo ships. Was told it depended on the old man.
                        On cargo ships do you wear boiler suits for meals? That what you meant?

                        Spag bol can get pretty messy.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by internationalapple View Post
                          On cargo ships do you wear boiler suits for meals? That what you meant?

                          Spag bol can get pretty messy.
                          Nah shirt and tie. Took some practice to keep it out of the soup.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            sorry I had to get off the internet, it is quite slow on here as everyone tries to sign in at the same time! I think I will give it a week or two, I could just be homesick.
                            I am sorry to hear you are having a rough time, for whatever reason.

                            First of all, depending on your circumstances, you may be right about it being homesickness. If you have always been at home, looked after and have a close relationship with mum/dad then you may well have been able to cope in your first college phase because you had the safety net of being able to get on a train at weekends and go home. Alternatively you could pick up the phone and ring home anytime. You were also in a situation where you were surrounded by other cadets in similar circumstances, excited to be doing something new, and were busy concentrating on new things. It was still familiar though. You were in the UK, everyone spoke English, college was similar etc.

                            Going away to sea was a new experience, new environment, new people, new habits, new languages and you were a fish out of water. It is so difficult. Your feelings are real, and can put you in the pit of despair. You are not alone. I guarantee that when people are away from home for the first time they will feel it, or away from home for their first Christmas, or birthday.

                            If you notice I have not asked your age. That is because age is irrelevant at this point.

                            I was one of those kids that went to boarding school at 11. Homesickness was a big thing at that age. First couple of nights back and it was bad, kids sniveling in the dark once lights went out. Same after Half Term, and Xmas. But by the second year, aged 12, it was nothing. By the time I went to sea at 18 I was a hardened and battle weary traveler! I had caught trains, planes, taxis, coaches and tubes on my own, whilst lugging a suitcase that felt like it was my own body weight! I never had an escort and became immune to it. I was also aware that everyone at boarding school was over all the effects of homesickness by the age of 13 or 14 generally.

                            Imagine my surprise when I went to sea and saw 16, 18 and 20 year olds getting homesick, especially as we were at sea for our first Xmas. I could not believe it, and spent many hours talking them through it as they sat in my cabin pouring their hearts out between the bouts of tears. It was only later, when I saw it in other cadets when I was a qualified Officer, that I really understood that going away from home can be a massive thing for some people, no matter what their age.

                            You are not different from other people. If this is homesickness, then sit and talk about it with someone on board. Even if you are the only UK person on board there will still be someone who can sit and talk to you about it without taking the mickey. Homesickness is not the preserve of the British, everyone will understand it!

                            As others have said though, isolating yourself is not the right thing to do. Get out, do things, talk to people, share the experience. One day you will have a cadet come to you with the same problem and you will take the time to help them out as you have been through it.

                            If after a couple of weeks you do not feel different then maybe it is something else. Try and work out what it is and then go and talk to Officer responsible for your training. Life at sea is hard enough when you love it, it is twice as hard if you are miserable.

                            Hang in there, don't forget that other people have been through the same thing and you are not abnormal! You may even get the same feeling at the start of your next trip, and the one after, etc. But each time it gets less and you get over it quicker.

                            Good luck, and remember that there are lots of people on here who have offered to help. Log in and send them a PM and hopefully they will help you.

                            All the best.

                            Ian.
                            "Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It takes a really good sailor to do it drunk." - Sir Francis Chichester.
                            "Waves are not measured in feet or inches, they are measured in increments of fear." - Buzzy Trent

                            "Careers at Sea" Ambassador - Experience of General Cargo, Combo ships, Tanker, Product Carrier, Gas Carrier, Ro-Ro, Reefer Container, Anchor Handlers.

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                            • #15
                              +1 to hatch order.

                              I hated the first part of my first trip, managed the rest resentfully. But was recommended by an old salty sea dog to give it another go on the next phase. I did, and sailed with a great Captain, who has been a friend and mentor ever since. I've had good trips, great trips and a few sour trips. I went on cruise ships not so long after I qualified and enjoyed that, now I have a wife and kids time for time on a quiet ship would be a welcome holiday half of the year, hehe.
                              Chin up, try to stay motivated.

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