Where is my COC?

[Annoyed]

Question: Where is my COC?

Answer: Lost somewhere in the overburdensome hellish bureaucracy that is named the MCA.

I read this years MCA "Annual Reports and Accounts (2011-2012)" with interest.

The MCA hoped nobody would notice that they have quietly removed the statistics for "Service Standards" that have featured in their previous years annual report. Have a look for yourself:

Here is last years report:

http://www.official-documents.gov.uk/document/hc1012/hc11/1108/1108.pdf

And here is this years:

http://www.official-documents.gov.uk/document/hc1213/hc02/0259/0259.pdf

Wow! All the service standards statistics have gone - I wonder why? Look! - its been replaced with:

"Although we have achieved most of our service standards, some related to seafarer documentation were not met and applications were prioritised to help meet the needs of our customers."

Note: For all people that can't decipher this cryptobullsh*t - This means the MCA are not doing their job properly and are trying to avoid publishing any hard statistics that will show this - but don't worry - they are still open for "business" and will take your money and not provide the service they have a complete monopoly over - after all - what are you going to do?

I am stuck at home waiting for my COC to appear. I can't get a job until it appears. Until then I'm broke.

I'm sure all the idiots in the MCA will be paid this month though - since i'll go to prison if I refuse to pay my taxes (which provide their ridiculous salaries and pensions).

Thanks MCA.

[YoungMariner]

If your actually passionate about the issue, write to your MP. Put the effort in with pen to paper, you can even do it online/by e-mail, and should get a response.
Realise that the budgets for the MCA have been drastically cut, in fact to a level that is being argued is below safe limits. Do a little research and you'll see the cutbacks are affecting all aspects of the MCA and they cannot operate properly with such a low level of funding.

[Unregistered]

Realise that the budgets for the MCA have been drastically cut, in fact to a level that is being argued is below safe limits. Do a little research and you'll see the cutbacks are affecting all aspects of the MCA and they cannot operate properly with such a low level of funding.

What a load of nonsense.

There has never been a Government department or 'executive agency' (or whatever other "free market government" rubbish we now have) that has had a big enough budget - departments always want more.

I happen to have already 'done a little research' for your interest!

I suggest you look at page 54 of this years 'annual report' "Analysis of services for which a fee is charged" - you may be amazed to find the MCA made a 'profit' of ?243'000 in regards to Seafarers Examinations and Certification! Incredible isn't it!

I wonder what the ?243'000 will be spent on? Maybe the 'chief executive' can have it as a perk - he doesn't have a helicopter at his disposal anymore - perhaps with this ?243'000 windfall he can charter one?

Meanwhile as the helicopter performs stunts overhead I am left unemployed without a COC.

Nice.

[K202]

The MCA has no excuse, Everyone has had cuts and a lot of departments much deeper than the MCA. I Don't hear defense crying everytime the work load gets slightly hard and they where raped by the cuts. not that i condone the cuts in anyway. but the MCA in particular comes across as an over bureaucratic money pit of a government department. Don't get me started on how there starving the CG. It annoys me how there happy to leave someone essentially on the street because they can't work untill they have there ticket but it is so sterotypical of the shipping industry.

[YoungMariner]

I completely disagree, the MCA Offices are pretty minimally manned places, and the Defense Sector is crying out at the moment. They apparently have insufficient appropriate manning for seagoing vessels, and are struggling to recruit onto the submarines (normally the place where only the best are selected...).
A month or so ago I would have agreed with you, but after being corrected on this forum and doing a little research, I think the MCA is seriously suffering in terms of manning. They are an organisation with a broad level of responsibility including Coastguard Stations, Port State Control Inspections, Flag Responsibility, Regulation, Anti-pollution Aircraft, Orals and more requiring specialised and experienced people. Master Mariners and Chief Engineers are an expensive commodity in comparison to your average civil servant. Cutting back on administration staff seems to have been the way forward.

At the end of the day, if anyone here cares enough about the issue, they should write to their MP.

And if you think the MCA is beaurocratic, you need to see the Civil Aviation Authority...

[alistairuk]

Out of interest, how long have you been waiting? Since 3 years ago it normally took 4 - 6 weeks for CoC's to appear after passing... (4 weeks if you gave the paperwork in to them in person immediately on passing in Southampton.. otherwise long wait!).

[flyingduck]

The MCA cannot pay their British staff a good salary so have to hire them from the the Indian sub continent. They only pay their surveyors about 30 odd K per year, where as classification society will pay 70 off k per year for what is essentially the same job, hence they have to hire from the Indian sub continent. No disrespect to those from the sub continent, i'm sure they are very intelligent and good at their job, but the reason they are there is cos the MCA can't afford to hire Brits, well there are still a few Brits working for them but they are reducing in number all the time.

[Steve]

They only pay their surveyors about 30 odd K per year,

http://www.dft.gov.uk/mca/mcga07-home/aboutus/mcga-aboutus-careers/mcga-aboutus-trawls/public_web-mnet_hr_post_recruitment_mca_46_12_ext_1.htm

?35,571 - ?44,574 for "Grade One", whatever that is. Presumably they recruit at the lowest grade and if there is a "Grade Two" it is paid more. Still, 3rd Mate's wages with a Master's/Chief's ticket is not going to attract the best and brightest.

[Unregistered]

They are an organisation with a broad level of responsibility including Coastguard Stations, Port State Control Inspections, Flag Responsibility, Regulation, Anti-pollution Aircraft, Orals and more requiring specialised and experienced people. Master Mariners and Chief Engineers are an expensive commodity in comparison to your average civil servant. Cutting back on administration staff seems to have been the way forward.

We can determine how much each employee within the MCA costs the taxpayer:

Year................................2009-10..............2010-11..............2011-12..............
Net Wages.................... ?44'567'000..........?44'206'000.........?45'981/000...........
Total Employees..................1'171.................. .1'143.................1'074................
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cost / MCA Employee........?38'058.92.........?38'675.41.......?42'812.85............

So amazingly although the number of employees has fallen the cost to the taxpayer per employee has risen by ?4137.44 over the last year! It doesn't look like the 'above average civil servant' is doing very badly within the MCA when you look at the figures.

The MCA (and closely associated public sector unions) are very good at spreading nonsensical propaganda about 'redundancies' and how these 'savage cuts' might end the Marxist dream (along with the world) - the truth is that the MCA are not cutting anything - and never forget the illusion - in the end costs and levels of service are not important because its all about safety - not efficiency of service.

Net Cost to Taxpayer by Year:

Year.....................................2010-11....................2011-12...........
Net Cost to Taxpayer........?127'428'000.............?138'646'000.......

Within the last year the MCA has cost the taxpayer an extra 9%. These are the MCAs own figures - so where are the 'savage' and 'drastic' cuts all the socialist cronies keep whining about?

Further to this - Seafarer Certification is a paid for service - if the MCA are experiencing a rush of applications this implies that income from fees has risen in proportion - where is the extra money going?

The MCA have attempted to disguise their last annual report by transforming it into a 'safety leaflet' (which further removes the problem of excessive cost and inefficiency effectively turning the justification of the MCA's existence into a 'moral mission' for 'saving lives' with excessive market intervention and 'saving the world' by preventing pollution).

Its a complete disgrace that the MCA carry on like this - where is my COC.

Stop wasting my time and issue the f**king thing.

Safer Lives,
Safer Ships,
Cleaner Seas,
Sh*t Service.

Flag of Convenience: Yes Please.