Originally posted by AncientMariner
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There is a free surface effect to beer which is not found in any other liquid. Once you have a quantity of more than 4 pints in a container (stomach) then the virtual rise in your C of G is greater, and increases exponentially for each additional pint, and you lose your ability to remain upright on a chair as your righting moment decreases. This effect is also magnified by an additional 20% if the lecturer talks in a monotone.
The beer then lowers its own baffle plates (your eyelids) without warning.
The only way to counteract this is to fit stabilisers (a cadet either side) with a sharp compass in their hand. For one, they keep you upright, and two a sharp stab causes the automatic baffles to fail to drop.
Various methods have been tried to counteract the effect. Cadets have been known to swallow beer mats whole in order to create natural baffle plates in the stomach. This has merely resulted in constipation and an excess of wind or the regurgitation of something akin to soggy weetabix part way through the lecture.
Hope this helps someone!
Ian
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