Missing Home

[Randomist]

It's fair to say at some point during our sea carrers we miss home.

It is worth mentioning that on a new cadet's first trip, there will very likely be a point where you think "I don't want to do this any more, I want to go home."

I went through this, So did a couple of cadets and qualified officers I know. It's important to not let it get you down, work through it and by the end of your first trip you'll have forgotten all about it.

[Andy_S]

Re: Missing Home

I imagine it's the isolation of being on a ship that does it. I mean I am well used to being away from home etc as I have lived away quite a bit (even spent 5 months living in Shanghai!) but there are always people to talk to, places to got etc when you are lonely on land. At sea it's another matter. It's something I'm slightly worried about myself. I mean 4-5 months at sea in phase 2 is a looooong time!

How do you get over it if/when it happens?

[Malim Sahib]

Re: Missing Home

How do you get over it if/when it happens?

Have a beer or two and get the tunes on!
I don't think I've ever felt lonely when at sea, but certainly when I was a first tripper I really did miss home - my father was dying of cancer at the time and I was in the middle of a 6 month trip.
Still, that's the 'game' - he was a Seaman, as was his brother, my Grandfather and a few before him and so they understood the life.
Aside that trip I can't say I've ever missed home/felt alone at sea since.

[Randomist]

Re: Missing Home

I think you're right on the ball there. It's not just the missing home, it's the fact you are shut into the same steel box for 24 hours 7 days a week. The Biggest thing is you may have a rubbish week or a bad day and you can't go home at the end of it.

Honestly the best way to get through it is to just live with it. I know it sounds harsh but there's no quick fix to adapting to the life. There may be a point when you say to yourself "screw this, I'm going home." It is very important not to get off at this point, if anything you'll always wonder what it would have been like if you'd seen it through, at least stay onboard through the whole of phase 2. Should you really think you want to leave, write a list of every reason you want to get off. Put the list in a draw and ignore it for a few days, then look back on it. You will probably feel that all the small things don't matter that much and the bigger picture is more important.

When you get home and all your stuff around you, after your trip is over, give it a couple of weeks. By then you'll either look back and think "that was rubbish, never doing it again." In which case, fair enough, it's not for everyone. Most likely tho, you'll look back and think it was great. You must want to be there, otherwise you wouldn't have applied

[Randomist]

Re: Missing Home

.....or you can have a beer and turn the tunes on

[Andy_S]

Re: Missing Home

Have a beer or two and get the tunes on!

Just not the sad ones

[Malim Sahib]

Re: Missing Home

[quote=Andy_S]

Have a beer or two and get the tunes on!

Just not the sad ones [/quote:20x1e390]

Nor James Blunt, Basshunter, Toploader or any of that ilk, otherwise you WILL be depressed when I storm into your cabin and smash up your Ipod (almost did that to a 4/E a few trips ago)!

[Andy_S]

Re: Missing Home

[quote=Malim Sahib][quote="Andy_S":2eu3bgx5]

Have a beer or two and get the tunes on!

Just not the sad ones [/quote:2eu3bgx5]

Nor James Blunt, Basshunter, Toploader or any of that ilk, otherwise you WILL be depressed when I storm into your cabin and smash up your Ipod (almost did that to a 4/E a few trips ago)! [/quote:2eu3bgx5]
I will NOT be playing any of that bullhocks. I do have a toploader cd somewhere though.

[GuinnessMan]

Re: Missing Home

I unfortunatly wound up being stuck in an engine control room with a 4th Eng who was so depressed that he spent the last three weeks of my contract playing bloody james blunt every single bloody day!
He was turning into a bad country and western song! His gf left him, his friends on the ship had gone home and I did feel bad for him, but there is only so much blunt I can take!

[CharlieDelta]

Re: Missing Home

I'm quite happy to be a bit of an independent spirit - I've been away from home since I was 18 so nearly four years of living in the UK. The only worry I have is being at such close quarters with somebody else - sharing a room at college and a cabin on board. It'll just be a bit wierd having pretty much never shared a room before (except with someone during my cabin crew training).

[size4riggerboots]

Re: Missing Home

I'd lived away from home for 7 years before I went away to sea, and it's not the same. I've had moments when all I wanted to do was jack it in and go home, they pass, but don't underestimate how different it's going to be.

[Randomist]

Re: Missing Home

There is definatly a big difference between being away from home and working at sea.

Sharing a room can get tedious after 4 months of not having your own private space

[minchmermaid]

Re: Missing Home

I find that making my cabin a bit more homely makes things easier, I take pictures of my friend and family, I have my fave mug on the bridge and at Christmas time I take fairy lights away with me and string them round my cabin. I'm permanently on the same boat now and I am contemplating taking my own bed linen away with me so that my cabin doesn't seem so institutionalised. I have even taken my fave teddy bear away when I was having a bit of tough time.

[Randomist]

Re: Missing Home

I can't imagine me cuddling up to a teddy of an evening can mean good things at all

[size4riggerboots]

Re: Missing Home

Who do you work for minchmermaid? (pm me if you don't want to announce it publicly?)