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  • How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

    Well... come on Cheify and Malim... or any of the others... spill!

    Many of us cadets will never have experienced the environment before, so as an extension to Chiefy's previous post on the first trip, I thought it might be useful to get him to list some pet hates before he toddles off for 2 months...
    Emeritus Admin & Founding Member

  • #2
    Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

    Oh lord where to start?!

    Remember this is a personal perspective but you might pick up some tips etc.

    To be honest I am pretty easy going as are most on the box boats, cruise ships can be different I am told, with The Chief being a more god like creature ...

    Whats the Difference between the Chief Enigneer and God?
    God dosent think he's an Engineer

    So anoyances..
    Punctuality, I turn up from 07:30 onwards and have a brew with the boys (and girls) see what the Second has planned and either help (hinder) or guide as required. If you want a brew DO NOT turn up at 0759 and expect to sit for 5 minutes or more gathering your thoughts. Learn how to use your alarm clock and pay attention to clock flogs.

    Personal hygene, have some

    Pay attention and ask questions, dont go mad trying to complete your portfolio in week one, similarly dont leave it till day before pay off.

    Boiler Suits, learn to wash them goes hand in hand with personal hygene, IF you need more then ask for them.

    BRING at LEAST 1 boiler suit and your boots WITH you.

    Take notes when doing "routines" eventually YOU will be asked to do them yourself even if it is under supervision.

    Learn how the kettle works.... not asking you to make everyone a brew I can work a teabag but if you are in first for smoko fill the damn thing up and switch it on, I do the same for you if I am in first However it would be nice if you become the "stock keeper" and bring down fresh supplies of tea/milk/sugar/coffee etc etc

    Hand writting PLEASE practice your numbers so when entering them in the log book I can tell the difference between 5 and 7, 3 and 8 etc......and for gods sake get them in the right order, a sure fire way to get a call at 1205 to go check the noon figures is to send me a "pile-o'****e"(tm) in the log book (I was guilty of this as a gadget)

    Cabins keep them tidy nothing worse than the Captain telling me my cadet is living in a hovel!!!!

    If in doubt ASK it's a learning place, no one goes to sea knowing everything and I find I learn new stuff most days too...every days a school day

    Be safe...really I cant stress this enough, if there is any doubt then stop, ask, check.

    Clothing....back to hygene (I am coming across all OCD about this ) but clean clothes when off duty is a must. The borg dont overly push the uniform thing (not when I'm about leastways) but comming to dinner in dirty smelly clothes etc will get a raised eyebrow at the very least

    Tell the truth, if you feck-up admit it, if you break somthing admit it. ther eis nothing worse than me thinking there is an issue with a machine that needs shoreside help/advice/assistance to find out "little eddie"(<- a mysterious eningeer who never touched nothing but it just broke) has just twiddled with something and it's all gone wrong!

    Lastly enjoy yourself and have fun.
    Trust me I'm a Chief.

    Views expressed by me are mine and mine alone.
    Yes I work for the big blue canoe company.
    No I do not report things from here to them as they are quite able to come and read this stuff for themselves.


    Twitter:- @DeeChief

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    • #3
      Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

      When I went on tall ships the captain was very superstitious about the likes of whistling...

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      • #4
        Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

        I had a captain who insisted we said Earwig AS we burped, if we did, it wasn't rude, if we failed to earwig, it was very rude! That what Tall Ship sailing does to you....

        Size4riggerboots

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        • #5
          Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

          Originally posted by Chiefy
          Learn how the kettle works.... not asking you to make everyone a brew I can work a teabag but if you are in first for smoko fill the damn thing up and switch it on, I do the same for you if I am in first However it would be nice if you become the "stock keeper" and bring down fresh supplies of tea/milk/sugar/coffee etc etc
          How many on board can make a nice (read british) cup of tea rather than some pissy weak stuff?!

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          • #6
            Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

            Originally posted by Andy_S
            Originally posted by Chiefy
            Learn how the kettle works.... not asking you to make everyone a brew I can work a teabag but if you are in first for smoko fill the damn thing up and switch it on, I do the same for you if I am in first However it would be nice if you become the "stock keeper" and bring down fresh supplies of tea/milk/sugar/coffee etc etc
            How many on board can make a nice (read british) cup of tea rather than some pissy weak stuff?!

            Depends how pissy I feel and how hard I kick people......memo TAKE TEA bags with you if you like tetley or typhoo etc......the Liptons Yellow label sh!te is...sh1te

            As an a side I had a FAB french cadet who knew how to make a brew English Stylee
            Trust me I'm a Chief.

            Views expressed by me are mine and mine alone.
            Yes I work for the big blue canoe company.
            No I do not report things from here to them as they are quite able to come and read this stuff for themselves.


            Twitter:- @DeeChief

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            • #7
              Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

              At last, another individual who HATES Liptons Yellow label!
              I always take my own (leaf tea) with me, and any cadets on watch with myself are suitable inducted in how to make PROPER tea.
              Another thing, if you're a cadet and find yourself on the Bridge/ECR when the Old Man/Chief walks in for gods sake get up! I was always brought up that if someone senior to you walked into the space that you should get up from your seat. If nothing else it indicates you have at least some respect for the Boss.
              I well recall a Engineer Cadet getting wholeheartedly bollocked by the Senior 3/E for sitting in the control room on Standby reading Harry Potter when the Chief bounded in!
              Basically, when in the presence of your seniors always attempt to look busy/interested even if you aren't - it will be noticed!

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              • #8
                Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

                Originally posted by Malim Sahib
                you should get up from your seat.
                Cadets are allowed to sit down on the bridge?????????????????????????????????????? This is news to me!

                Size4riggerboots

                Moderator
                Blog tWitterings Flickr Tumblr Faceache

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                • #9
                  Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

                  Dont forget your Chief Engineer excuses!

                  "It came off in my hand chief...."

                  "It was like that when I got here chief......"
                  I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.....

                  All posts here represent my own opinion and not that of my employer.

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                  • #10
                    Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

                    Originally posted by size4riggerboots
                    Originally posted by Malim Sahib
                    you should get up from your seat.
                    Cadets are allowed to sit down on the bridge?????????????????????????????????????? This is news to me!
                    Never mind cadets? Anyone is allowed to sit down on the bridge?

                    And yes... what is it with bloody Lipton Yellow Label Tea.. I have yet to see anyone actually drink the stuff.
                    ?Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn?t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.?

                    ? Mark Twain
                    myBlog | @alistairuk | flickr | youtube Views and opinions expressed are those of myself and not representative of any employer or other associated party.

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                    • #11
                      Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

                      Originally posted by size4riggerboots
                      Cadets are allowed to sit down on the bridge?????????????????????????????????????? This is news to me!
                      Bridge/ECR/Cargo office, applies everywhere. Doesn't help that on just about every ship built since the late 90s there are at least two chairs on the bridge, handily positioned in the name of ergonomics so you can fall asleep in front of the radars/telegraph/autopilot so you find yourself forever kicking people out of them.
                      I think it's no coincidence that the appearance of bridge chairs has corresponded with a rise of watchkeepers falling asleep. There should really only be one chair on the bridge - the pilot chair.

                      I once asked a Ship swindler, sorry Chandler about Liptons yellow label, but apparently we get it because "we all love it!". Interestingly, it seems to be hugely popular around the world, just not in the UK. It's about the only tea I can think of where it takes at least two tea bags to make any kind of brew that actually tastes like tea!
                      For the Deep Sea people out there, Liptons is a staple of seagoing life, that and the ever redoubtable Lux soap!

                      As a reinforcement of Chiefys original post - handwriting! Please ensure its neat and in some way readable and doesn't look like it's been written by an 8 year old schoolgirl (i.e. not joined up with huge swirly letters and large circles for dots), otherwise use block capitals - especially in the Log/Movement books (legal documents!).

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                      • #12
                        Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

                        Originally posted by kayak
                        the captain was very superstitious about the likes of whistling
                        Originally posted by size4riggerboots
                        a captain who insisted we said Earwig AS we burped
                        Originally posted by Malim Sahib
                        reading Harry Potter
                        Good god... so this is where they all go.


                        Originally posted by Andy_S
                        a nice (read british) cup of tea

                        There can be only one.
                        Emeritus Admin & Founding Member

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                        • #13
                          Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

                          Need some yorkshire tea biscuits with that.

                          Am I the only one who doesn't really mind Liptons? It not the best but it does remind me of getting the ferry from Newcastle to Norway, Liptons was all they had on board. Mind you they did charge you about ?3 for a small cup.

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                          • #14
                            Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

                            I don't mind Liptons as ice lemon tea in somewhere sticky like Vietnam, but 'taint Yorkshuh.
                            Emeritus Admin & Founding Member

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                            • #15
                              Re: How to annoy a Chief Engineer / Captain

                              LEMON?!?!?!

                              Gota be peach

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