...what about your partner?!

[SussexChris]

Hi all,

I'm new to the forums but have been reading with interest all day! A lot of the questions I previously had have been answered on other threads, except for one.

How do people find working/living away from their partners? My situation is probably slightly peculiar. Both myself and my girlfriend want to become deck cadets next September (2011).

However, whilst I don't expect to be able to hold her hand throughout the course, I was wondering what the academy and sponsorship companies would make of it. We're both just as passionate about becoming deck officers eventually. Her preference is cruise ships, I'm open to cruise or freight, so our sponsoring companies would likely differ anyway.

Does anyone have any experience of working with a significant other in this area?

Of course, I'm not blind to the fact that by its very nature this work will take me away from home a lot and we wont see a huge amount of each other once we're both fully qualified, but how do others find being away for so long?

Sounds a really soppy thread, but don't worry, I have considered it and it's a price which we're both happy to pay to follow our dreams. Also, being slightly older (both 23), will be a help in that we know what we want from life

Any thoughts or comments?

[MN_cat]

Re: ...what about your partner?!

Hey

Im off to Sea in 4 weeks, age 22. I met my boyfriend at uni, he isnt a deck cadet. I know this is going to be hard for me at the possibility of an 17 week trip. I think the main thing is to trust each other and be there when one another needs it. Also remaining positive will help and keep in contact as much as you can emailing and writing. Explain it might not be easy and if you both fully understand what your other half is going to do then you should be ok but don't ever think it will be easy.
Spend some quality time together before going is my advice.

Im concerned that if goes wrong at Sea it will be hard has anyone had an experience of that?

[size4riggerboots]

Re: ...what about your partner?!

I had a boyfriend last year, we met at college and while we were both there it was hunky dory. Then he qualified and I went on my first sea phase. In the next 6 months we saw each other for a total of about 4 weeks. Unsurprisingly, it didn't last!

[steamer]

Re: ...what about your partner?!

There's only room for one officer in my house!!

[Randomist]

Re: ...what about your partner?!

My girlfirend and I were together for around a year and a half of my cadetship.

We're not anymore but that was nothing to do with the cadetship. It depends how much you want it really. Long distance is difficult but it can work

[Sharky]

Re: ...what about your partner?!

Stay positive, write lots of letters, email as often as you can and call every week or so. Make plans for what to do when you do get an odd moment together so you make the most of it and have something to look forward to. Throw yourself into work. Think long term. It can be expensive and a lot of hassle but arranging to meet for a few hours when you come into port during sea phases can be a godsend when you've been seperated for a few months already. I'm not saying its easy but it is do-able so keep smiling.

[north_sea_ninja]

Re: ...what about your partner?!

Keeping in regular contact is the key,
I was in the army for 4years before starting my cadetship 2 1/2 years ago and my fianc? and I have been together for 5 years. It's the same with any job away from home, keep in contact, try to surprise her (or him) with flowers or whatever (interflora have made a mint from me with 12 months in Iraq and my sea time as well!!!) and most importantly do not forget important days like birthdays anniversaries etc.

Try to remember tho, this will be your future, working away is the nature of this work, so use yr cadetship as an opportunity to get used to it, as the separation never feels better, but both you and yr partner will learn to deal with it and cherish the time you have on leave. If it's strong you'll last if not, then cest la vie.
Look at me being the old romantic! My mother, missus and grannie would be soo proud!!


As an aside, two peeps on my course got together and are engaged now, he works cruise, she is offshore (hurrah!)

[secondmate]

Re: ...what about your partner?!

You just do, or dont, true love will never die and conquers all.

The End

Oh and it is possible, friends of mine met at nautical college he is now Master, She is C/O and although they dont have a family yet I know they are thinking of it..